Why has this controversial answer been deleted by a moderator?

Question

https://academia.stackexchange.com/a/98458/958 ? I don't see any outstanding reason for deletion. It's been downvoted, but that doesn't mean it has to disappear from the website.

Answer 1

This answer is not nice to:

• the asker, who is implied to be insecure and lack social skills:

  I think you are blaming your STEM professor status instead of your insecurity and lack of social skills.

  Furthermore, there are some pretty trite geek clichés here, that are just silly on their own, but make me question whether the post is serious:

  How about you hang out in book stores and try to chat up the first girl that smiles at you?

  Also, if I were the asker, I would be put off at least a little by being suggested to acquire a partner through trickery. Finally, unless I missed something, the asker did not indicate their gender or sexual preferences – which is fine as they are completely irrelevant to this question.

• women in general, who are implied to fall for very stupid advances, false compliments and waffling:

  [let them know] that they have beautiful eyes, you think they are really intelligent, bla bla bla)

   

  Just ask them where the sugar is

  Moreover, tricking a woman into a relationship is considered acceptable behaviour:

  one will fall for it after a few tries

Not to mention that the only part of this that addresses the question is the general gist of “try to get a relationship”. Specific dating advice is beyond this question and I strongly doubt that the asker was looking for this (it’s like elaborating the “look into your examination guidelines” part of an answer into a reading 101).

Now, of course all that is inappropriate or beyond the scope of the question could just be edited out of this answer, but that would only leave something along the lines of: “Try to get a relationship.” While that would still make for an answer on its own, it has already been said (in a better way) in other answers.

The only thing that I find odd about its deletion is that the answer was just deleted and not hammered with a rude/abusive flag instead.

Answer 2

I think the answer should not have been deleted by a moderator. It is OK for me if it is downvoted into oblivion, but I do not see a reason to take explicit action to delete it.

Summarizing my comments to this answer, let me counter the arguments in favor of closing it.

1. The "you lack social skills" part seems acceptable to me. In a question specifically about difficulties in socialization, suggesting lack of social skills should not be a taboo topic. The answer does not say "ha ha you are a loser"; it just goes to the point. In fact, apart from the "bro" style, I see little difference between saying I think you are blaming your STEM professor status instead of your insecurity and lack of social skills and My suspicion is that this is not so much about "professors lead lonely lives" as it is about "I am lonely," or "I fear leading a lonely life." But this need not be so. You can learn to be more outgoing (currently in another answer). Should we close that one, too?

2. The attitude about women suggested in the answer seems acceptable to me. Not that I support it, but I see no reason to censor it. If compliments and attempts at conversation are now an unacceptable way to "trick a person into a relationship", our jails might be overflowing soon.

3. The answer does answer the question. The (blunt) answer to "how does a professor deal with a lonely lifestyle" is "dude, stop being a loner, go outside and meet girls".

4. It's assuming OP's gender (uhm, no, it's not actually?) and sexual preference. No big deal --- people often do that. The proper way to deal with it is leaving a comment, not using special moderator powers and nuking the answer from orbit.

5. You don't like the style of this answer, I get it. A part of it probably is there just for the shock value. There are lots of other strongly formulated answers and comments on this site, though --- JeffE is famous for his cutting style, for instance, and it seems very well received. I see nothing so offensive in this answer that deserves immediate deletion, instead of going through the usual path of getting downvotes. There are no direct attacks to the OP. There is a shade of misogyny (is there? I see no attempt to generalize "all women are gullible") that we may find despicable, but the proper answer if you disagree is downvoting, not preventing the answerer to express his opinion.

(And, just in case you are thinking it: there is no relation between me and the answerer. His name sounds Italian, I am Italian, but I have no idea who he is. And I am using male pronouns here because that's a masculine name.)